As you may recall from my last post, I was instructed to call my RE's office on my next CD1 to start my BCPs and schedule my monitoring appointments. Well, today was CD1 - two days early, which means my cycle was only 27 days this month and I will likely get two periods in November. Yay. (Not.) Anyway, I called my RE's office around 10:15 this morning and of course I had to leave a message. But to my surprise, one of the nurses called back about an hour and a half later. In the past, I typically haven't received a returned call until the end of the day or even the next day, so this was good. Basically, the nurse told me I wasn't supposed to start my BCPs this month or come in for any monitoring appointments. Which makes sense now but it doesn't change the fact they gave me the wrong instructions less than two weeks ago. Apparently, they meant to tell me to call back with my CD1 after this CD1. :/
So this means this month is completely wasted (unless - miracle of miracles - I should actually get pregnant without medical intervention in November...yeah, not likely). I didn't even realize this was going to be a wasted month until literally just a few seconds after I hung up the phone after talking with the nurse. So I called back to double check I was given the correct information this time and to see if there was any way to squeeze me in a month ahead of schedule. And what do you know! A nurse answered on the second ring. Miracles do happen! (Maybe there's hope for me yet for a natural pregnancy!) But the answer was no, I couldn't get in any earlier. :'( The reason for this was because of the FET schedule. It was completely booked in December so I have to wait for the January schedule as planned. And now I'm just sitting here waiting for my next CD1 so we can actually get moving on our FET. This is going to be the. longest. month. ever.
Oh, and I received some pregnancy news over the weekend, too: my 26 year old cousin is due with her first baby in April (if you're trying to do the math, that means she is 11 years younger than me). I'm not going to lie...it stung. A lot. Why is it still so hard to hear pregnancy announcements even after having my beautiful twin miracle babies?? Ugh, I'm on the verge of tears even as I write this. Most days, I handle my situation and my disease well. Other days, like today, and days when I hear pregnancy announcements from expectant moms and couples, I can't help but think, with tears in my eyes, "Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to spend $30K (and counting) to have a family? Why isn't treatment for this disease covered by insurance like all the other diseases out there?" I pray every day my kids won't have to go through this.
And I wonder if it will still sting when I am 70 years old...
I'm so sorry....sorry you have to wait for your FET and sorry that you have to deal with this at all. Pregnancy announcements still sting for me too. I look forward to the day when all my peers are past their child-bearing years. Maybe then, it won't hurt so dang much...
ReplyDeleteThanks. I hate for anyone to have to go through the struggles of infertility but it's at least comforting to know there are others out there who can relate...even if it's anonymously through cyberspace. Because I am *the only one* in my close circle of friends (read: non-cyberspace friends) who hasn't been able to conceive a child naturally. I feel so alone sometimes.
DeleteIf it's any consolation, I still feel jealous when someone announces a pregnancy... after three babies of my own, one of whom showed up all by himself. (What a good boy, that A. Heheheh.) I just love the babies so much. And the idea of pregnancy. (Ugh, I really, really want to love pregnancy, but it is actually, really hard for me... It's physically grueling, and it turns me into an anxious nutcase, to be honest. The cute bump part of it is fun though. Heeee.) If I were younger and somehow had more time and resources, I'd try to have more babies... Oh, I would. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how that was supposed to be a consolation. Ha. Maybe at least you might not feel as if you're alone in feeling the way you do when somebody springs a pregnancy announcement on you--even somebody you love and wish to experience the joy of a pregnancy/baby. I feel it too.
Thanks, Heather. That actually does make me feel better to know you feel that way too about pregnancy announcements. No one ever talks about this and it just feels so lonely. And guilty. {choking back tears}
DeleteAnd I feel the same way as you about the having more kids thing if time and resources and my geriatric uterus weren't a consideration. I love all things babies and kids.
DeleteForgive me for not remembering correctly, but do you have PCOS? And if so, do you read these two blogs? https://rescogitatae.wordpress.com/ and https://labmonkey2.wordpress.com/. They are sisters who've written about their experience with IF. One is newly pregnant and feels there was a major connection between her PCOS and the amount of dairy she was consuming... https://rescogitatae.wordpress.com/2015/10/04/pcos-and-dairy-just-say-no/ I'm sure there was more before that post--maybe with links to studies or articles that are related, but I can't find that info right now and don't have time to dig! Just thought I'd share in case there's anything from her story that matches your own that you might appreciate. Please know I'm not sending you these links as a miracle cure or some magical way I think you're going to go get yourself knocked up. I just honestly thought that if you have PCOS, there might be some info there that could potentially be helpful to you.
ReplyDeleteI have never been diagnosed with PCOS; I don't seem to have any of the classic symptoms. But I do appreciate your thoughtfulness in sharing those blogs with me. :)
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